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Drone Tours Begin on Campus

Updated: Aug 13


Mary Bell University has always prided itself on being a research-first institution, existing on the cutting edge of academic innovation. But recent data has shown that this focus has caused application rates to drop over the past few years. In an effort to combat this trend, the office of student life has unveiled The Mary Bell University Skyline Drone Experience, aimed at giving perspective students a new perspective on Mary Bell life: from above!

The new program took to the skies for the first time this past Sunday at the student center, where a tour group took turns piloting the newly purchased drones, using them to explore the campus.

The group was discouraged from flying the drones near the Haversack building.

“This is sick!” Said one young applicant. “It was between here at this one other place where they don’t have RA’s, but now that I know that you guys do drone stuff? Its gotta be Mary Bell. Besides, my buddy told me that cops like NEVER come here for some reason.”

But not everyone was sold on the program. “I just feel like there are better ways for the administration to be spending its money”, said one senior. “For example, I don’t think the school website has worked properly since like, the 90s. I’m just saying, that’s the first thing people who want to come here are actually going to see. Maybe spend that money making it so I don’t get redirected every time I try to order a Grim’s hoodie or something?”

With the drone tours program currently operating on a budget of just under $180,000 a year (a number gleaned from leaked emails found posted on the university website that have since been taken down), these concerns are not unfounded.

“Well, you can’t put a price on freedom!” Said student tour guide Sarah Miller, when asked about the programs arguably overinflated budget. “And free is exactly how you’ll feel when your soaring above the Mary Bell University campus, seeing… I’m sorry, did you say a hundred and eighty thousand dollars?” Ms. Miller, looking confused and overwhelmed, declined any further questions regarding the budget. The office of student life could not be reached for comment.

Starting at the student center, The Mary Bell University Skyline Drone Experience will take participants over the dorms, circling our newly constructed sports complex before looping back toward the main campus, with tour guides giving background and bits of history concerning the many landmarks spotted along the way. Drone tours will be conducted immediately after walking tours, provided that participants are willing to give a fifteen dollar donation to pay for equipment upkeep.

When not in use for tours, the new drones can found circling the Haversack building at all hours of the day and night, for maintenance reasons.


UPDATE, 7/2020: Physical, in-person tours start on campus for the 2020 Fall Semester on August 22nd. Visit us on Facebook to join a tour.

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