Students Organize Walkout in Protest of Unfounded Allegations of Animal Abuse
Updated: Aug 13
On Monday, roughly twenty or so students suddenly rose from their desks and left their classes for no clear reason, leaving their instructors and fellow students baffled and annoyed. The students then took to the Dickinson Community Quad and stood out in the rain in silence for roughly an hour. Holding signs making demands for a change in how the University was allegedly operating, these students (many of which may have had drug charges on their records and have faced disciplinary action from the University before) simply stood out in the rain, shivering and wet.
The signs they held as they huddled together for warmth made bold claims such as "Haversack Kills Animals," and called for actions such as "End Animal Testing" and "Free the Rats." However, despite the claims and accusations posed by their cardboard signs and sharpie bubble letters, there has never been any documentation of animal testing on the Mary Bell University Campus. Not a single faculty member or student has ever come forward having witnessed or taken part in any experimentation that involved animal subjects, nor have any animals been tested on ever. Not even once.
When asked where they had gotten their information, one art major in the protest confessed they had never personally seen any animal testing on campus, and claimed they had merely heard about it from another student who claimed to have gotten the information from a faculty member. After digging further, journalists at the Mary Bell Watchtower were unable to find a faculty member who would relay that same supposed information to them. These members of the Student Activism Club gave up on their cause after less than hour.
The official reply from the Haversack School of Health Sciences was a simple "no." No further comment was given or deemed necessary.
We'd like to remind the student body that the basement floor of the Haversack School of Health Sciences complex is strictly off-limits without double clearance from the Secondary Board of Trustees.